Homily: Wedding of Nick and Brenda M.
“The Techie Side of Marriage as Worship”
by Fr. William Holtzinger
April 9, 2005

Nick and Brenda, I want to begin by first expressing my congratulations to the both of you. Today has not come easily for either of you. It is the culmination of much blood sweat and tears, some due to the nature of any honest relationship and some from the preparation process itself. Thank you for your patience with me and with each other. Brenda, you are a woman with a heart, though not one to boast. I can appreciate the difficulty it must be to place yourself in front of the community today, as you greatly dislike being in the public eye. Nick, it was just a year ago (tomorrow marks exactly one year) that you were standing here in front of our community declaring your desire to give your heart to our Lord through the Catholic Church. So today marks your level of dedication and sacrifice for each other as well as the love that Christ has given each of you. May God bless your love. May this day be a reminder of greatness that lies in each of you because of God’s love in you.

Today you give yourselves to each other freely, totally, faithfully, and fruitfully. These are the marks of married love. They are the marks that Jeremiah lived out when he spoke of writing God’s law in our hearts. This law is not something that can be “coded” in any “binary language” between just the two of you. Neither is it a function of being “users” of each other as we see so prevalently in the media. You see, marriage is not just about you. Let’s call God’s love a “trinary” language where the two of you, with God, are going to live together. I know that might seem strange, but be patient as I offer you a new language that might help you understand better.

In the reading from Paul to the Romans, Paul is encouraging you to offer your bodies as spiritual worship -- a worship that is deeply intimate while at the same time widely public. For months now, you have been planning for today and “debugging” the details and “conflicts” that wedding planning entails. In your preparation, you’ve spent countless “cycles” “purging” your hearts of selfishness, ego, and “viruses” that can invade your hearts and cause the hardest of “crashes.” No longer is your love in “beta testing.” Today is the official “public release” of the secret which lives in your souls. Hopefully, through your engagement you have come to have a WYSIWYG Love, that is a trust in each other that “What You See Is What You Get.” You are not holding out for other “versions” of each other to be released. Of course that does not mean that you cannot make changes. Indeed, the best software engineers are continually improving themselves.

And so do not hide your love behind a “firewall” or seclude your married lives with a “128 bit encryption.” But rather, let people know the “system administrator” of your love. Nick and Brenda, the love you share is something that the world is aching for. People all over the world are trying to “pirate” counterfeits that poorly imitate the real thing. So, let your hearts be an “open source” for all to know. Make sure people see it when they meet you. God has given you a gift that is more precious than good 911 system software and is “freeware” to all who wish to have it.

God has “hardwired” us all for love. It is “bitmapped” into the “core” of our very beings, and you are here to remind us about the “program” God has “written” in to our hearts.

So don’t grow slack as Paul warns us. You see, in order for your love to be perfected and not just a bunch of “spagghetti code,” you must be sincere, detest what “bugs” you, and cling to what is good. You must be “pre-emptive” and “multi-tasking” in showing respect. Watch your “syntax” with each other. When things aren’t going right, don’t allow your love to grow in “latency.” And when you feel that you are at your wits end, know that your love is an “enterprise” product and we will be here to help you. Do not be wise in your own estimation, but let us help you “optimize” your love in “real-time.” Then your marriage will be “robust” and will be able to show us all what true worship can be like. This is no “simulation” nor “test phase.”

May you become a living witness to us all that love is alive and well. May the compatibility of your love confront the world’s sin. May you grow old together, be the best of parents, and show us all that what God joins together, no one can divide.